As the festive season rolls in, we can easily get overwhelmed with things that need doing for family and friends, those last few knots that need tying at work and presents that need wrapping or meals prepared.

It’s very easy to forget about ourselves and our own needs.

If you read my previous post, you now know that in my healing room, I have been hearing about what unmet needs can cause in our lives; anxiety, lack of motivation, resentment and worry…

You might have read a little about what needs are  and how they might affect you if they remain unmet…

You might have learned how unmet needs can fester and come out unintentionally in sometimes hurtful ways for both yourself and those around you.

I’m pretty sure you’ll agree that meeting your needs can be equivalent to disarming a grenade.  Pretty powerful stuff, no?

---

1. First notice any habitual and intense feelings such as; blame, resentment, discouragement, bitterness, numbness, impatience, shame, fear, anxiety, worry, hostility, frustration, sadness, jealousy, upset, embarassment, passivity, exclusion, loneliness, detachment… These are some of the feelings that come up if our needs are not being met.

2. Slow down and take a moment for yourself to breathe slowly and deeply so that the air fills your lungs to their very bottom (this will tell your nervous system that you are ok). When you are in a calmer space, recall what happened around the time of the intense feeling appeared and without blaming another for causing it, feel into what the need underneath the feeling was.

• Perhaps under the anger was a need to play with your children instead of making dinner or finishing some work on your computer…
• Perhaps under your snapping at your husband’s helpful directions was a need for your opinion to be heard and respected even when different from his…
• Perhaps under the blame was a need for help and recognition or for more quiet time and space for yourself…
• Perhaps under the anger was a need for connection and being understood…

Your feelings are real and are trying to tell you something is not right. What needs are there just under the surface?

3.  Finally note, how old does this part of you feel?  and who is it you might be looking to, to fill this need?

I bet it feels younger right? This younger you is actually in the driving seat more often that you might like. How is that going for you? would you like to change that? If so, get in touch and let us work together to create a life your present self would like to be living, moment by moment.